OK, SEO.Doug, let’s get the basic question out of the way

I’m very well thank you.

No, not that. I meant the ‘What is Search Engine Optimisation?’ question.

Ah. Are you sitting comfortably?

Groan. Be gentle with me. No big words or technospeak please. Keep it short and simple.

OK. It’s doing things to your website to make sure people find you on Google.

And?

That’s it.

Well that doesn’t sound like much to me. What is SEO? What’s all the fuss about Search Engine Optimisation then?

You’ve got to get a combination of things right.

Like?

Inbound links, domain trust, quality of coding, keywords, meta tags…

Meta- whats?

Tags. Think of your site like an iceberg. The small bit above the water is the bit you can see. The bit below-

Is invisible?

That’s right, well done. You see-

Hey, don’t patronise me!

Sorry. But you are absolutely spot-on. Key words and phrases are seen and picked up by Google. These words must be in your titles, alt tags and on your web page.

So you just cram your words into your SEO copywriting as many times as you can, so Google will find you?

Think about it from the visitor’s point of view. What happens if they arrive at your site and the writing is completely stuffed with keywords?

They’d get bored, annoyed or both?

Yes. And they’ll sling their hooks pretty quickly unless the copy is written in a way that’s going to interest them.

So how do you get over that one then?

Aha. Glad we got around to that.

You want me to hire you, don’t you?

Yes. Remember, good SEO copywriting gives you the right platform for the ongoing work required to keep your site at the top.

OK, that sounds good. You’ve sold me. But just before you get your cash register out, I’d like to test you out with one more question.

Fire away.

What’s the capital of Mozambique?

Maputo.

You’re good. Next question.

Yes?

What is SEO?

Sigh.